Turn Your Walls Into Bridges

Ever heard one of the phrases below:

• “It was like talking a brick wall.”

• “He was REALLY guarded…he definitely had the walls up.”

• “She walled off parts of herself to protect herself…it’s how she survived.”

If so, you aren’t alone.

Of course, we aren’t talking about physical, brick-and-mortar walls, but rather the mental and emotional “walls” that often get created when we experience an overwhelming event or experience.

And to be clear: Our mental and emotional walls do have a very legitimate place, purpose, and function.

But…

They can also be a double-edged sword.

How so?

Well, in theory, our walls keep any unwanted (or unsafe) people, places, situations or experiences away, right?. And, ultimately, this protects and prevents us from being hurt again, right?

You can almost “hear” the question mark at the end of that last sentence, nudging us to dig deeper…to explore, investigate—and even interrogate—that belief just a little more.

In thinking about this idea of walls, several questions come to mind:

• What “walls” do you currently have up in your own life?

• What happened, or what did you experience, that created the need for those walls?

• How old were you when you “built” them? And how did they help to protect you or keep you safe?

When we look inside ourselves—with total grace and compassion—we often find that our walls carry a deep wisdom and provide insight into which parts of ourselves we nurtured…and which parts we cut ourselves off from in order to survive.

And when we are able to be still and get curious, that same wisdom can help us discover:

• Which walls are still up?

• Which walls are serving your greatest good? And which ones aren't?

• Which walls are linked to protecting your core sense of…self? safety? trust?

Finally, consider the following:

• How much energy are you using, spending or exerting to constantly keep your walls up?

• What would it be like if you could actually let at least one of those walls down?

• What would it be like if—in your own time and your own way—you were able to transform that wall into a bridge?

And, lastly, where would that bridge lead to?

Take a moment to simply pause & take one deep, truly nourishing breath…and think about it.

May your walls become bridges to new opportunities and the “new you” that is finally ready to emerge, and as always…

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

Spring Forward, Fall Back

It’s official.

Summer has ended. And the season of Autumn/Fall has begun.

It’s getting colder day-by-day.

The leaves are changing colors and beginning to fall to the ground.

And very soon, it will be time to change our clocks so we can—as the saying goes—Spring Forward and Fall Back.

Contemplating that phrase, I can’t help but wonder:

• When we “fall back”…what exactly are we falling back into?

As I see it, there are two obvious options:

1. We can fall back into old patterns of unchecked anxiety, depression, unhealthy relationships or old trauma.

2. Or we can gently fall back—meaning relax completely into—the knowing that we are always connected…to ourselves, to each other, to nature and to “the presence that is never an absence”.

Some questions to consider:

• Which option do YOU choose?

• Which one do you desire, and—even more importantly—why?

• And—on a practical level—what does that “look like” in your life (i.e., How will that influence your day-to-day thoughts, feelings and actions)?

Whichever option you choose, please know that you deserve the best that life has to offer, no matter the season.

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

May Flowers of Awakened Living

With the exception of the Fall/Autumn season, Spring is my favorite time of the year.

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something about seeing the grass, the plants, and the flowers come back to life that is both timeless and invigorating.

May is the perfect month to symbolize awakened living. That is to say, awakened living is not only about “living your best life” (as the saying goes), but also about allowing life to live through you. It’s as if Mother Nature designed the month of May to remind us about the ever-present essence of life. Is it any coincidence that Mother’s Day is in May? Who knows. But I digress.

In my experience, witnessing the awakening of life outside of us sometimes helps connect us with the awakening of life inside of us. As a therapist, I know of clients once challenged with things like anxiety, depression, or lingering old hurts who experienced significant positive shifts in health and wholeness during this time of the year.

For this post, rather than extoll the many benefits of counseling and therapy, I wanted to share some positive affirmations that honor the month of May and speak directly to the “you” that is awakening and emerging.

• May you think thoughts of the highest order that serve the truth of who you are

• May you feel feelings that reflect back the most beautiful aspects of your true nature (e.g., joy, bliss, and contentment)

• May you demonstrate actions and behaviors in the world that serve others and the highest good

• May you embody love and know the peace that passeth all understanding

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

April Showers of Black Joy

For the nation—and for Black folks in particular—the month of April has been, well, a lot.

Between watching with bated breath for the verdict in the Chauvin trial, to hearing consistent news stories of Black bodies being harmed at the hands of the police, many people are experiencing high levels of stress, anxiety or overwhelm.

As a therapist and a healer, I have seen the psychological, physiological, and mental-emotional effects of continually witnessing Black pain. Why is this important? Because it can (and does) have a “weathering” effect, which often shows up in the mind (via disempowered thinking) but also in the body (via dysregulated emotions and nervous system functioning).

In that same vein, I know another truth: it is important to intentionally make room for Black joy in the body.

What do I mean?

Simply put, joy has an energy to it. And when it comes to healing and wholeness, allowing ourselves the space, license, or permission to experience joy can be revolutionary.

The old saying that “April showers bring May flowers” comes to mind.

How might our lives—and our relationships—change if we took small moments to see, feel, or imagine April showers of Black joy raining down…

• How would we experience that in on our bodies?

• What old hurts or wounds could we release?

• What healing (i.e., natural return to wholeness) would then be possible?

In the midst of experiencing pain or challenge, allowing ourselves this gift is a way to prepare the soil of our lives…for even more joy, happiness, and freedom.

This month, let our April showers be of Black joy pouring down to wash away the old and usher in the new.

As the old song by Loose Ends goes…You Can’t Stop the Rain.

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

Bringing Balance to the Force

March is Women’s History Month and March 8th was International Women’s Day. As I scrolled through the various social media posts and acknowledgements, an open question came to mind: How do we honor the divine feminine in ourselves, in others, and in society?

While every person may embody aspects of both masculine and feminine in various parts of our lives, traits that are stereotyped as feminine have often been ignored or devalued.

What do I mean by stereotypically masculine and feminine traits? Here’s a not-at-all definitive but quick list to help illustrate (see below).

Masculine: Competitive, Assertive, Protective, Goal-oriented, Logical, Independent, Focused on doing

Feminine: Collaborative, Yielding, Nurturing, Relationship-oriented, Intuitive, Interdependent, Focused on being

As a sci-fi fan and reformed Star Wars nerd, it brought to mind the idea of “Bringing Balance to the Force”. What happens when we don’t have balance? In our lives? In our relationships? Within the collective?

As we celebrate Women’s History Month, International Women’s Day, and the cultural, political, and socioeconomic achievements of women, I’ll pose two open questions:

• How does the idea of “bringing balance to the Force” relate to Black mental health and wellness?

• How can we honor the beauty, strength and necessity of both the divine masculine and the divine feminine within ourselves and in our own lives?

The peak does not exist without the valley — two aspects of the same beautiful landscape.

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

Let's talk about Love...

28 Days? Really America, that’s all we get!? #ridiculous #notfeelingthelove

Now that I’ve vented, let’s get started with this month’s blog post…

It’s February, which includes two notable and culturally relevant events: Black History Month and Valentine’s Day.

In their own way, these bring to mind the theme of love, with 3 unique expressions:

• Love of Community

• Love of Others

• Love of Self

Rather than opine or try to explore “answers”, for this post I’d rather share some open-ended questions.

As you read them, what thoughts, feelings, images, vibes, scenarios or sensations arise? And how do these questions relate to black mental health, wellness, or transformational wholeness?

Consider the following and let’s dive in:

• What does Black History Month mean to you? What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

• Do you associate these events to feelings of anxiety, depression, or trauma? Do you associate them with love?

• What do both Black History and Valentine’s Day have to do with the theme of love?

• Where in your life is it challenging for love’s presence to shine through?

• Which is easiest for you to express: Love of Community, Love of Others, or Love of Self?

• Which is most difficult for you to express: Love of Community, Love of Others, or Love of Self?

• Which is easiest for you to accept: Love of Community, Love of Others, or Love of Self?

• Which is most difficult for you to accept: Love of Community, Love of Others, or Love of Self?

• What if radical self-care is the best “gift” you could give to other people, to your community, or to yourself?

I don’t know how these questions will land when your read them.

I don’t know if they will find you doing well or temporarily experiencing life’s challenges and changes.

But I do know that—wherever you are in the world, and in your journey of healing, empowerment and transformation—we’re sending some love your way.

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

It's 2021. What's on your permission slip?

It’s official. The Great Calendar Turn of 2021 has happened and 2020 is now in the rearview mirror.

As many of you know, a new year is often used to signal new birth, new opportunities, new possibilities, and new ways of being. While we still move forward, the beginning of this new year recently caused me to pause and think briefly back to my youth. During this brief trip down memory lane, I recalled a hallmark of school days long gone: the ever-coveted permission slip.

For those who don’t know, a permission slip is a form that a school sends home with a student. The permission slip is essential because it gives the OK for a person to take a trip or journey away from their everyday routine. Why? So they can have new experiences that will presumably help them learn and grow (e.g., a class field trip to the zoo or local science museum).

As children, permission slips were often required and had to be signed by a parent, legal guardian or other responsible authority figure. Today, as adults, we have the opportunity to “sign our own permission slips” and stand in our own authority.

So it begs the question: What is on your 2021 Permission Slip?

Imagine you had a blank permission slip—just like those used in school—and were given the chance to fill in the blanks. What if you were guaranteed it would be signed? Think about it and fill in the blank:

“This year, I give myself permission to ____________________________.”

Of course this brings up a few questions to consider:

• What would you give yourself permission to do?

• What would you give yourself permission to be or become?

• Is there an ideal career path you would give yourself permission to pursue?

• What would you give yourself permission to release or let go of?

The take-away? Rather than asking for permission from others, we can give ourselves permission to make positive, necessary or desired changes in our lives. Simply put, we can sign our own permission slips.

As we say goodbye to 2020 and welcome in 2021, let’s give ourselves (and each other) the license to fill in our “permission slips” with things that will help support our happiness, health, wholeness and joy.

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness

2020: Is there a Gift within the Grief?

During a recent conversation with a close family member, we started to talk about this year and how no one could’ve predicted what 2020 had in store. After catching each other up on the impact on our personal and professional lives (e.g., new family routines, school changes, remote working, cabin fever), an interesting question came to mind.

With all of the challenges, change, upheaval, trauma and even mourning that 2020 has brought: Are there any “gifts within the grief”?

One thing is certain: the importance of mental health and wellness as a core need has been made even more clear.

I wonder if—like a trip to the optometrist—2020 has been a year aimed at giving us “perfect vision”? What do I mean? Well, I’ll pose an open-ended, hypothetical question:

What if this year was designed to—both individually and collectively— help us “see ourselves” more clearly than we ever could before?

Amidst the deep losses that have happened (and still continue), are there any learnings or lessons underneath the grief?

Everyone’s individual experience will (quite understandably) be different. But I’ve heard some people report they’ve noticed:

• Forced “pivots” in their lives that—in hindsight—were overdue

• Closer relationships with family, friends and loved ones

• More clarity around what’s most important to them

• Greater appreciation for small things that were previously taken for granted

Many years ago, an old friend and mentor once told me that “Each experience in life has a potential learning in it, but it only reveals itself when you look for it.”

Maybe so. What are your thoughts?

• In what ways does this match your personal experience?

• What, if any, growth lessons or learnings has 2020 been showing you?

Wishing you and yours true peace.

Warm regards,

Nasir

True Peace Counseling & Wellness